Craps Is a Funny Word Athf

  • It's common in the series for the characters to treat many of the bizarre and surreal situations as Unusually Uninteresting Sights. One notable example would be in "T-Shirt of the Living Dead", where Meatwad uses his magical T-Shirt to summon a giant monster in the shape of an Easter egg out of his mind into Carl's front yard. Carl's response?

    Carl: Hey! THERE'S A FRIGGIN' EASTER EGG IN MY YARD!
    Meatwad: Well, that's probably Eggzilla, Carl. He's that fire breathin' Easter egg, come out of my mind.
    Carl: Of course.

    • Afterwards, once Eggzilla and his new girlfriend that Meatwad conjured up for him destroy Carl's house, Carl practically loses it and aids them in the destruction of his own property.

      Carl: Hey, make sure the house is completely crushed if you could!

    • All of this occurs while Santa Claus, brought in by Meatwad in the middle of July because he wanted early Christmas presents, is burning alive after having been set ablaze by Eggzilla.
  • Zakk Wylde's appearance in "Spirit Journey Formation Anniversary" after recording a terrible new version of the birthday song with Master Shake.

    Zakk Wylde: Why did I even get wasted and work with [Shake]? I mean, this isn't even a real microphone! It's a stick with a marshmallow on it!

    • Shake also roped Geddy Lee of Rush into singing on it, and he practically craps himself when he sees Lee's plane with the "Fly By Night" artwork sitting in his driveway.
    • Shake has Wylde perform with a pair of animatronic scorpions. Shake's song is so bad that they become sentient, announce their desire to embark on "solo careers", whip out missiles and blow each other up (and Wylde, who was literally caught in the middle).

      Shake [charred from the explosion]: Can I just say when I bought them, I didn't know they came armed with laser cannons? They probably charged me extra.
      Frylock [also charred]: So, uh, what are you going to tell Zack's wife and children?
      Shake: You saw him. The man was drunk and out of control.

  • Anything and everything that Dr. Weird ever says or does, but the moment most would nominate for the top spot is when he announces "GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD... CORN!"
    • Oh! Hey, you know this is pretty nice! I am kind of hungry.
    • Good. THEN LET THE MATING BEGIN!
  • It manages to be just as hilarious the second time, too;

    Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN! I BRING YOU... [shutter opens up] MORE CORN!
    Steve: Uh, gee, I dunno man... I mean, after last time—
    Dr. Weird: THIS TIME SHALL BE DIFFERENT! [cackles]
    * Beat*
    Steve: Well, alright... cause I am hungry again—
    [corn launches at him and pins him to the wall]
    Dr. Weird: IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL, IS IT, STEVE? AAAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • The first appearance of the Mooninites:

    Dr. Weird: Gentleman... BEHOLD! [shutter opens, revealing a wall of amps] Are you ready to ROCK?
    (awkward silence)
    Steve: U-um, I-I'm ready to ro—
    Dr. Weird: THEN I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR HAIR TO THE BACK OF THIS AUDITORIUM! 1, 2, 3, 4! [starts shredding] THIS ONE IS CALLED, "ROBOT AFFLICTION"!

  • Then there was that time Dr. Weird somehow got (or put) a boa constrictor inside of his hair helmet.

    Dr. Weird: *The snake is coiled around his neck* Steve...

    Steve: Yeah?

    Steve: Aw hell no!

  • Dr. Weird introducing Moth-Monster-Man:

    Dr. Weird: HAHAHAHAHA! GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD! [doors open, Moth-Monster-man is revealed...] Moth-Monst-[...and he immediately flies out through the rabbit hole] OH NO! MOTH-MONSTERMAN NO! COME BACK!
    Steve: He has escaped!
    Dr. Weird: Yes. Through the hole! [slips and falls] MY BANANA!

  • The opening of "Balloonenstein":

    Dr. Weird: Gentlemen, feast your eyes!
    [the gate goes up revealing a vortex]
    Steve: What the hell?!
    Dr. Weird: Don't feast, run! Dammit! (he and Steve get sucked in)

  • Frylock finds out that the curse of the mummy is an exaggeration. The real curse of the mummy is that they are mean, rude, greedy, manipulative, and selfish brats and you should never awaken them unless you have a lot of time and money on your hands. So what does he do with this information? He buries the mummy in a pile of cardboard boxes for the recycling truck to pick up.
    • Carl later starts wearing the mummy's crown, unaware that his legs have been turned into a snake's tail... until Master Shake points it out.
  • The entire live-action episode is comic gold. There's something about seeing Meatwad as a faceless inanimate exercise ball that's really funny for some reason.
    • In particular, David Long Jr. as Carl. Fan opinion was somewhat divided on the rest, but everyone agreed he absolutely nailed it.
  • Spacecataz. That is all.
    • "Everything you say is boring."
    • When the Plutonians begin their prank war with the Mooninites:

      Oglethorpe: Oh no, he did not do that!
      Emory: What was—
      Oglethorpe: That dude back there just flipped me off!
      Emory: Really? Y-You saw that?
      [Back at the Mooninites' ship, Ignigknot is flashing an extra-large middle finger.]
      Err: Did he see it?
      Ignigknot: Oh yes, Err. He saw the finger. My question is, does he know what to do with it?
      [Back to the Plutonians]
      Oglethorpe: Stop this ship!
      Emory: Okay, but we're not supposed to stop at this speed...
      Oglethorpe: STOP IT AT THIS SPEED!
      [The ship comes to an abrupt halt, and they both crash through the window.]
      Err: Oh man, that's just gonna—oh man, he's backin' up! (beep)IN FLY' HE'S BACKIN' UP! COME ON!
      Ignigknot: No. (flashes a second extra-large middle finger) We'll double his pleasure.
      Err: Take TWO, muddamuchacos!
      Ignigknot: And call us in the morning.
      Err: Yeah, call us! We'll be drunk!

  • Ignigknot doing roll call at the meeting for all the villains seen so far:

    Ignigknot: Romulox...?
    Romulox: Here I am, rock you like a hurricane.
    Ignigknot: Happy Time Harry...?
    [Happy Time Harry vomits.]
    Ignigknot: The Trees...? (Beat) Did anyone see a large tree in the bathroom?
    Err: Oh yeah...they left a message, they're runnin' late, they're hitchin' a ride with Flargin and Dingle.
    Ignigknot: Flargin and what?
    (Later)
    Ignigknot: Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future...?
    Cybernetic Ghost: [as smoke blows around him] Thousands of years ago, before Sigourney Weaver
    Ignigknot: "Here" will work just fine. Thank you.
    Cybernetic Ghost: ...Here.
    Err: And NO SMOKING! [jumping up and down in place] GIMME A SMOKE, GIMME A SMOKE, GIMME A SMOKE!
    Ignigknot: Err, stay with the patch. Your blood pressure.
    Err: [to the Ghost] You tell another story!
    Cybernetic Ghost: [as smoke blows around him] Thousands of years ago, I survived the quickening of the dragonoid's crusade...
    Err: (breathing in) Mmmm... smooth and menthol-y.
    Brownie Monsters: (Hellish roaring and screeching)
    Ignigknot: I know, I know, we're getting to you, just wait your turn. You're coming up on the list.
    (Extended Beat)
    Ignigknot: ...'kay, Brownie Monsters.
    Brownie Monsters: (Hellish roaring and screeching)
    Ignigknot: Emory and Oglethorpe...?
    [awkward silence]
    Err: Ha-HA!
    Ignigknot: "...were not invited" is the correct end to that sentence.
    Err: Put a period on that!
    Ignigknot: Plutonians are teh suck. note This is how the closed captioning reads for this statement.

  • In "Revenge of the Mooninites", the Mooninites get their hands on a "Foreigner Belt" and cause all kinds of trouble for Frylock and the gang. When Err tries to use the belt on Shake, he finds that it doesn't work as intended:

    Err: Are you ready to Work for the Weekend? 'Cuz I'm gonna Turn You Loose to Hot Girls in Love!
    (Shake stands in the middle of the street waiting for his promised "hot girls", but no one comes)
    Err: Man, how come it ain't workin' on him?
    Ignignokt: Because those are Loverboy songs, Err...and Loverboy has always sucked.
    Carl: (shouting from offscreen) No they don't! I saw them in '85 at Madison Square and they kicked ass!

  • Dr. Weird interrupting the shot of South Jersey Island by popping up in front of the screen and shouting "BULL SH[bleep]!"
  • With Shake, Frylock and Meatwad out of their home, a handful of sirens move in. Two beautiful women... and John Kruk. (Which is even funnier not because he was on the '93 NL champion Phillies, but because he's a local demigod in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area). His attempts at "singing" are one of the funniest things seen on ATHF.
    • And the sirens were Neko Case and Kelly Hogan, which is a Moment of Awesome for indie rock/alt country fans.
    • If you think that's funny, you should see Carl's attempts at "dancing". The Sirens' and John Kruk's reactions seal the deal.
  • At the end of one episode, Frylock buys a new television after spending the whole episode talking about how TV is bad for you, resulting in this gem.

    Meatward: I thought you said TV was bad.
    Frylock: Oh it is... but we f*** ing need it!

  • The end of "Dumber Days" when Meatwad is brought down to normal... while he was in the middle of giving out "Flying Car Rides" (with Carl's car), making the car land on Carl's roof.

    Carl: Oh, do not tell me that THAT IS MY CAR UP THERE ON THE ROOF!
    Meatwad: okay, we won't.
    Carl: Get it down!
    Meatwad: Okay.
    Carl: Wait, no, don't—[Carl's car lands with a loud crash, totaled in the process] DAMN IT!

  • Pretty much the entirety of "Super Spore".
    • This classic gem after Frylock sends Travis of the Cosmos to timeout for swearing:
    • Carl discovers Travis urinating all over his house, and needless to say he is not pleased.

      Carl: (feigning excitement) Hey! Who's your dead friend? He's dead!

  • When Meatwad gets into the medicine cabinet in the "Robositter" episode. Not only does he turn into a flower and speak like some kind of guru, but when Meatwad's trip goes bad... well, his image of Frylock is something that must be seen to be believed.
    • GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
      • Genius Bonus: Hallucination!Frylock is based on the schizophrenic cat art of Louis Wain.

        Frylock: Meatwad, look at me. Look at me. (distorted) How many fries am I holding up?
        Meatwad: You come here to kill me! Bullfrog king!

  • In the episode where Meatwad gets the ability to see the future, he has a vision in which Frylock walks out the door and suddenly explodes. Frylock decides to go outside to prove Meatwad wrong. Cue an explosion from outside. Frylock suddenly comes back in and says, in a perfectly deadpan voice:

    "The... dog blew up again."

    • Later, it's revealed that Meatwad had been eating caulk the whole time, which makes him think he has been seeing into the future. He then asks Frylock if seeing Carl striking oil was real. He tells him no. Cue Carl and Shake covered in a black substance that's not oil, but the...er...stuff from Carl's septic tank.
  • The scene in "Balloonenstein" where Shake tricks Meatwad into getting in the dryer.

    Shake: Meatwad, it's spaghetti time! Oh boy, spaghetti!
    Meatwad: All right, spaghetti! Now that's Italian!
    Shake: There it is, eat it! (cuts to some cords)
    Meatwad: That doesn't look like any spaghetti I know.
    (Shake adds dinner plates and silverware underneath the cords)
    Shake: There, now it's spaghetti.
    Meatwad: You're messin' with me, aren't you?!
    Shake: You're right, I'm sorry. The real spaghetti got wet when I was boiling it so... it's in the dryer!
    Meatwad: Why didn't you say so! It's probably dry by now, let's go get it. (hops in the dryer) Now remember, I like it spicy!
    Shake: (laughs as he turns the dryer on) So stupid!
    Meatwad: Hey, wait a second! Why's it spinnin'?
    Schoolly D: (narrating) Come on, think about it, Meatwad. It's a dryer, man. Of course it's gonna spin.

    • Meatwad getting Drunk with Power:

      Meatwad: Shake. Where is my popsicle?
      Shake: Please-
      Meatwad: I require a popsicle every fifteen minutes. You obviously did not read the memo.
      Shake: This is your memo?! [holds up sheet of paper with what could loosely be called a drawing on it] I don't even know what this is!
      Meatwad: [pins Shake to the wall with Force lightning] You sicken me with your lies.
      Shake: I'll make you some right away!
      Meatwad: Make me some? Please do not insult what little intelligence I have. I need it now.

  • The entirety of "Multiple Meat".
    • Especially "3 Million Bottles of Beer on the Wall":

      Meatwad #17: Wait, I got mixed up. Start over!

    • And when they finally finish the song 27 years later:

      Meatwad #1: Hehehe, that was fun!
      Meatwad #2: Yep, that was fun!
      Meatwad #3: That was fun.
      Meatwad #4: Well now what do we do?
      Meatwad #1: I suppose we can sit here and get to know each other. Or we could sing that song one more cotton-picking time!

    • And with that, they do. As the POV zooms out from the house, a gunshot is heard from the other room, because in 27 years Shake still hasn't left.
  • "Grab my potatoes, Carl"
  • The ending of "Juggalo" with the court scene, particularly the Insane Clown Posse saying they work for the community and that they spit fire.
  • "Global Grilling". Shake buys a new barbecue grill — the Char-Nobyl 6000. It uses radioactive material to cook, and even on Super-Low, it's enough to cause a global environmental disaster (it's not even supposed to be in the country; even within arm's distance of it, Carl's shoulder hair and the clouds catch fire). The next day, the grill has scorched the entire neighborhood. Meatwad throws a pan out the front door, which promptly explodes.
    • At the end of the episode, Shake gives a patriotic speech about the importance of eating your boogers, so that the Mucusoids don't take over the world and enslave humanity!
  • Master Shake goes completely Drunk with Power when he steals Frylock's contact lenses in "Laser Lenses". A list of grievances include:
    • Repeatedly mouthing off to (and then blasting) Carl.
    • Forcing Carl to order him Chinese take-out, and then blasting him when he whimsically changes his order.
      • And in the process burned down his house and scorched his lawn into a charred wreck.
    • Terry's "cosmetic surgery" at the end of the episode (to replace Frylock's bad surgery, he ends up giving him eye-tits).
  • This exchange between Dr. Weird and Steve:

    Steve: [enter] Hey, I'm back from lunch—
    Dr. Weird: WHERE'S MINE?!
    [Beat]
    Steve: Um... I thought you said you don't like to eat, cause, you said food makes you really... [Dr. Weird rips his brain out from the back of his head] ...uh...crazy?
    Dr. Weird: THIS MAKES ME CRAZY! [collapses, dead; brain starts floating]
    Dr. Weird's Brain: Gimme some fries, boy!
    [Dr. Weird's brain chases Steve, shooting lasers at him]

  • This exchange:

    Dr. Weird: YES, TERRY! MINE FOR BRAINS! UWAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Steve: Hey, uh... who was that on the phone?
    Dr. Weird: Um, no one... er—HEY! LET'S [produces massive needle] HIGHLIGHT YOUR HAIR!
    Steve: But I like my hair this color—
    [Steve gets jabbed in the neck with the needle and immediately collapses]
    Dr. Weird: IT BEGINS!

  • Dr. Weird appears playing with a little spider... which actually formed from Steve's eyeball. He summons Steve's other eye as he writhes on the ground, crying in pain.

    Dr. Weird: SHUT THE F**K UP, STEVE! YOU'RE SCARING THEM!

  • Yet another exchange between Dr. Weird and Steve.

    Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN...WHO STOLE MY HAIRARIUM?!
    Steve: Y-your...what?
    Dr. Weird: MY HAIR HELMET!!
    Steve: Oh...t-that's right there...on your head.
    Dr. Weird: Oh...(Beat)...BULLS**T!

  • A little Carnivore Confusion... well, a lot of Carnivore Confusion:

    Steve: [talking on a phone] Uh, yeah. Uh, six inch on wheat, no mayo... uh, hang on. Uh, Dr. Weird?
    Dr. Weird: [with his hand behind his back] MY ASS HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO EAT MY HAND! (sharp convulsion) IT HUNGERS... FOR MORE!
    [Dr. Weird's entire body gets sucked in until there's nothing left but a small ball of flesh with a piece of Dr. Weird's muumuu sticking out.]
    Steve: [completely unfazed and returns to talking on the phone] Uh, yeah, just the one hoagie.

  • This bit:

    *Dr. Weird is wearing a tribal headdress*
    Steve: *as Dr. Weird places a hand on his shoulder* Yeah, hey... y'know what, this is my two weeks' notice—
    Dr. Weird: SAMHAIN... *he tears out Steve's spinal column* FOREVER!!
    *Steve collapses onto the floor as Dr. Weird laughs manaically*
    (Beat)
    Dr. Weird: Ho ho.

  • LOOK AT THIS UNIT! [strips, revealing a body you would find on a Ken doll]
  • "Yeah, I wrote that. It's called 'I Wanna Rock Your Body'... and then in parentheses it says 'To The Break Of Dawn'."
  • A whole lot from "Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future":
    • When the titular robot enters Carl's room, Carl is completely calm throughout the entire "conversation" he has with him.
    • Child-Carl's Christmas gift. Which is a piece of carpet. Which is also his dinner.
      • Also Child-Carl is only a little less bald than adult Carl and already has his pot belly and wife beater.
    • That Carl's house was built upon elfin graves, hence why his pool was filled with elfin blood.
      • It somehow creates babies.
    • "Wait, who unionized?" "Wouldn't you like to know? Probably your mama!"
    • Also: "You must give up yourself to the Great Red Ape." "Okay, how much?" "Sexually."

      Frylock: You don't need to go Carl! You could do that....other thing...
      Carl: Yeah, no thanks, Fryman. I'm not gonna get humped by a red gorilla in space.

    • Cybernetic Ghost hiding from Danzig and his sprinklers of blood.
    • Danzig buying the house specifically because it's haunted by a cybernetic ghost and has blood dripping from the walls.

      Danzig: Is there any chance we could get the blood to flow UP the walls?
      Cybernetic Ghost: "I don't see why not."

  • In "Rubberman", the flashback when Carl got nipped in the stones by a killer whale.
  • An Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1 example: all of the "Lasagna" episode, which Dave himself said is the closest thing to Looney Tunes as possible.
  • The ending of "Moon Master", with Err trying to face the Gorgatron.

    Ignignokt: He said no, Err. With his foot.

  • The culmination of the f-bombs running gag in "Total Re-Carl":
    • When Frylock analyzes Carl's brain to text, the screen is covered in obscenities with the f-bombs strategically covered.
    • "Here ya go, Shawn Cassidy."
    • The look on Shake's face when he sees Carl's head attached to the body of an old black guy.
    • Shake ruins Frylock's initial attempt to build a fresh new body for Carl via an organ bank:

      Frylock: "Dr. Frylock, while we appreciate your interest in body construction research, we cannot legally send you a, quote-unquote, 'buttload of organs', regardless of whether we plan on using them."
      Shake: I didn't say "buttload"! (Beat) I said "ASS-load".

    • Frylock rebuilds Carl by giving him a military suit and arming him with weapons of mass destruction. He only realizes it's a bad idea when it's Shake who calls him out on it.

      Frylock: I give you the ultimate in military hardware complete with laser cannon, indestructible titanium exoskeleton and motion-activated plasma pulse rifles.
      Shake: And you're gonna plug him in!?
      Frylock: You're right. Damn, what the hell was I thinking?

    • Shake's reaction when he sees the result of the body they tried to make out of medical waste organs (and the only organs they could obtain were eyeballs. )

      Shake: Will he be able to chase us? 'Cause if I woke up looking like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it.

  • The entirety of the Broodwich episode.
    • Meatwad repeatedly mishearing Frylock saying that Shake found the Broodwich.

      Frylock: That's... the Broodwich!
      Meatwad: The boob witch?
      Frylock: No no, Meatwad, the Broodwich. The Broodwich!
      Meatwad: Wait, wait, say what?
      Frylock: Broodwich!
      Meatwad: The Blair Witch is here?
      Frylock: No no, the Broodwich!
      Shake: I'll tell you what it is, friends. It's shut up and let me eat it!

    • The disembodied voice and Shake ripping on Frylock for reading Vogue.
    • Meatwad planting Frylock's azalea bushes by throwing them down the hole where Shake found the Broodwich.
    • Meatwad tells Shake that Jerry from the other dimension is a "nice guy once you get to know him" despite him repeatedly trying to kill Shake with an axe. Shake believes him and takes another bite of the Broodwich.

      Frylock: Wow, so you're saying it was fun?
      Meatwad: Hell naw, that sum'bitch had an axe!

    • Followed by Shake watching Jerry and his friend talking about their wives giving them crap at home. Here's the extended version of the scene.
  • The Mooninites' completely opposing reactions to seeing Frylock's Eye Beams for the first time.

    Ignignokt: What was that?
    Err: Whoa, did those just come out of your eyes?
    Ignignokt: They're primitive.
    Err: Damn, those are fast, man.
    Ignignokt: We are not impressed.
    Err: Hey, wasn't that cool?

  • The whole of the episode "Gee-whiz" - from the moment that they start to explain Standards and Practices until Ted Nugent comes out wearing a badger and everything before, after and in-between.

    Ted Nugent: It is I, Ted Nugent, and if any of you don't got a gun, a knife, handkerchief, and a Chap-Stick, get the f[GUITAR RIFF]k outta here!

    • From earlier in the same episode, the Sound-Effect Bleep resulting from said Standards and Practices. When Meatwad is supposedly "pregnant", at one point he launches into a foul-mouthed rant:

      Meatwad: Oh boy, I apologize. My hormones are going nuts! Now please, if you would, get the [ELEPHANT TRUMPET] out of my way. I mean, how many times do I gotta [ALARM BELL] write ice cream on this [SQUEAK] list, before someone gets his [HORSE WHINNY] in gear, and brings home the [OWL HOOT] ice cream?! MAYBE I SHOULD GET A STEAK KNIFE, AND ETCH IT IN YOUR MOTHER-[CORK POP] FOREHEAD! HOW HARD CAN IT [SQUEAK] BE? ICE MOTHER- [DRUMROLL] CREAM! I guess that's the price I pay for living with TWO [DIAL TONE] MORONS!
      Meatwad: *slams door and leaves*
      Shake: ...What happened to courtesy? Did it just...disappear?

  • Meta example- at the end of "The Cubing", both the real Wisdom Cube and his brother, the Dumbassahedron, float up in the air and get shredded to bits by a passing helicopter. That helicopter happens to be an Enforcer chopper. Clearly, Commander Feral's chopper backup was so late, they entered another show by mistake.
  • This exchange in "Super Computer" when Shake accuses Frylock of being a witch when Frylock's new supercomputer vanishes into thin air:

    Frylock: I had to suspend the RAM in a colloidal fluid, (etc...)
    Shake: Because you're a witch and you made it disappear with your evil magic!
    Meatwad: He's a witch?!
    Frylock: *deadpan* I'm not a witch.
    Shake: Oh yeah!
    Frylock: I'm not a witch!
    Shake: Don't look at him wrong, he'll shrink your head to the size of a pea, I've seen it!
    Frylock: Look, the hard drive spun so fast, it send the computer back in time.
    Shake: To the time of witches, where you once lived! Bring forth the stakes! You shall burn for your beliefs, WITCH! *the door buzzer rings* My pizza's here! Pizza time pizza time pizza time!... *hops out of the room, still duct-taped to the chair*
    Meatwad: It's all startin' to add up now, isn't it? The levitation. The eeevil book readin'. Dem cream cookies you always eatin'...you a damn witch!
    Frylock: Oh yeah? Well whatcha you gonna do about it?
    Meatwad: Eat pizza. Pizza time pizza time pizza time!... *exit*

    • From the same episode, when Frylock reveals said supercomputer:

      Frylock: Gentlemen... the OoGhiJ MIQtxxXA!
      Shake: Frylock. Come on. You're really gonna call it that?
      Frylock: Well, yeah! I mean, that's the Klingon word for "superior galactic intelligence," and that's... what this is.
      Shake: "Superior galactic grandma after eatin' a block of cheese, smokin' three packs of cigarettes, and drinkin' a quart of milk." Disgusting, that's the word!
      Frylock: Well, I invented it, and I can call it what I want!
      Shake: Fine! Hey, good luck with the casual sex! I mean it. No, 'cause you won't get it, not with that name. Anyway, go on. I'm sorry to interrupt.
      Frylock: (sighs) Meatwad, what do you think?
      Meatwad: (Beat) My butt itches.
      Frylock: All right, all right, fine! What should I call it, then?!
      Shake: "BAD-ASS MUTHA!!"
      Meatwad: No, "Snoopy!" Or... or "Schroeder." One of them two.
      Shake: No. "Bad-Ass Mutha 4000!"
      Meatwad: "The Red Baron."
      Shake: Twice as fast as your ass! Yeah, baby!

    • Shake tells Meatwad Oog is his dad.

      Shake: Hey Meatwad, your dad's here! He wants to make amends!

      Meatwad: That ain't my daddie.
      Shake: Sure he is. I asked "are you Meatwad's dad?", he said "How'd you know? Yes I am."

  • In one episode Frylock makes a ray that can shrink or grow anything to any size. Carl wants to use it on his dick. At the end, he finally does.

    Carl: Hello ladies, I'd like to introduce you to my little friend there, Goliath. We had to order special elastic pants for him on the internet.

    • This ends up backfiring, as it also enlarged Carl's pubic lice, which promptly jump out and run around the hallway. Carl seems to expect this, and quickly advises that "If they get close to ya, hit 'em with the shampoo."
  • Meatwad gains internet fame after a video of him vomiting while performing a song called "Chicken and Beans". He goes on tour and the fame, predictably, goes to his head:

    Meatwad You know what? Screw chicken and beans! I'm done with that. I ain't a dancing robot, I'm an artist and I need to create! You're all just beasts and animals shaking the bars of the cages in my zoo! And I am a magic unicorn astride a golden stalion picked up by two giant bronze grizzly bears! Now, Charity, Chastity; get over here and blow me before I go onstage. I have to lose 3 ounces so I can rock these leather chaps right proppa!

  • The scenes from the episode "The Marines" when Frylock goes to Canada to avoid the Marines after Meatwad enlists them all and winds up in a barn with "Canada" written in paint on the side with a Jigsaw-esque puppet on a television screen.

    Frylock: [Wakes with Saw 's Reverse Bear Trap on his face] Where am I?!
    Puppet: Welcome to Canada, Frylock. The key to the trap on your head is implanted in your skull, just behind your right eye. On the table in front of you is a grapefruit and grapefruit spoon. Do the math.
    Frylock: Wait, wait, wait, wait! What's the grapefruit for?!
    Puppet: [pause] I'm not sure actually, I forgot. You think you could maybe... grab your jaw and just sort of rip your head open? I want to see inside there... RIP YOUR HEAD OPEN!

    Puppet: Are you enjoying our little game?
    Frylock: Yeah, it's over. I just took it off.
    Puppet: You have sixty seconds... wait, what are you talking about?
    Frylock: I just took it off. Here it is. See, right here.
    Puppet: Oh wow, shoot.
    Frylock: It was only a twist tie.
    Puppet: From my whole wheat bread loaf! You found it! Bring it to me. You have sixty seconds.
    Frylock: Where are you?
    Puppet: I don't know! I'm a doll.
    Frylock: Well hell, you must be somewhere. There's a camera on you.
    Puppet: There's a camera on me? For real? What do I look like? [Holds pocket mirror to his face] Am I pretty?
    Frylock: Is this all y'all do up in Canada?
    Puppet: We speak French... sometimes. Pretty much this though.
    Frylock: Look, I'm going back to the United States, okay?
    Puppet: Wait, um, uh, why don't you jam that grapefruit spoon in your eye. Is that cool?
    Frylock: Uh, let me think about that. No.
    Puppet: Come on, man. Don't be a dick. Do it..or else!
    Frylock: Or else what?
    Puppet: [Grapefruit catches on fire] Or else that! See what that did? What if you were eating that when that happened. ...nightmare!
    Frylock: I am out of here.
    Puppet: Wait... that key's still in your head.
    Frylock: No it's not.
    Puppet: Dammit! Just hack your foot off! Wait, Frylock! C'mon, don't go. We have universal health care here. It's free if you're a citizen.
    Frylock: Nope. No thanks.
    Puppet: C'mon man, hang out. I'm lonely.

    • And then there's a follow-up scene near the end with Meatwad.

      Meatwad: What's in here?
      Frylock: Why don't you go find out?
      Meatwad: Okay. I'll do anything. [Enters barn]
      Puppet: Wanna play a game?
      Meatwad: No thank you. [Exits]
      Puppet: Wait! Wait! Don't go, don't go! Come on, man! I've got all the Rush records. Come on, man. Please! Just come hang out with me! [In a defeated tone] Damn...

  • The episode "The Creditor" is just one long Crosses the Line Twice moment of funny.

    "I told him he needed to chill, but he misheard me as saying that he needed to KILL."

  • Three words: Count. The. Bullets.
    • Doubles as a Moment of Awesome as well.
  • In "The Cloning" when the Aqua Teens' most recently-cloned TV is going through Clone Degeneration:

    Meatwad: Something's wrong with that TV.
    Frylock: There's nothing wrong with that TV.
    (TV starts gushing blood)
    Frylock: Okay, something's wrong with it.

  • In "Mooninites 3: Remooned", the Mooninites come to Earth to cash a giant check that Ignigknot stole from his uncle Cliff. The first place they try to cash it at is a gas station. Naturally, things don't go as planned.

    Shake: What do you mean, no?! Don't you know how much this is for?! Because I do not!
    Cashier: Look, uh, we don't cash checks here.
    Shake: And we don't respond to threats. I'll say it one more time in a little language I like to call English. Or maybe I should say it in Mehicano? Get back dero and casho the checko, amigo. Andale! Andale!
    Ignigknot: He's not responding, cup. Lay into him more.
    Err: (outside) Yeah, lay into him some more!
    Ignigknot: I've got this, Err!
    Cashier: That thing there is your check?
    Shake: Yes, that's the check.
    Cashier: Well, we don't cash 'em.
    Shake: Oh, you've never seen a check before? Oh, me so sorry. Uh, maybe you're in the wrong business. And maybe immigration would like to know about this?
    Cashier: Good, cause you know what? I'm American.
    Shake: Well I'm not. But when I become one, maybe I'll legally buy a weapon, and we won't have to vote you out of office. Will we, scumbag?!
    (Shake and Ignigknot are kicked out of the store)

    Shake: Unbelievable!
    Ignigknot: Unfathomable.
    Shake: You know they sneak in, and then they try to rule us. (through the window at the cashier) Well I'm gonna sneak into your country, and do this job there, AND THEN NOT CASH ANY OF YOUR FRIGGIN CHECKS! How will you like that?! You WON'T! BECAUSE YOU'LL BE HERE!!
    Ignigknot: Your logic is flawless. But my brain has transmitted a better idea.

    • Then they come back and try to cash it again with Carl's ID and Meatwad wearing Carl's mustache and hair, with Shake and the Mooninites watching eagerly through the window.

      Meatwad: And as you can see, that's my proper identification. It all checks out. You will notice a difference in height. That's because I'm an organ donor, had to have my body removed last year and donated. I certainly hope you don't discriminate here.
      Cashier: Uh, no, Mr....
      Meatwad: Meatwad.
      Cashier: It doesn't say that on here.
      Meatwad: What's it say?
      Cashier: Carl.
      Meatwad: Yeah, that's his ID.
      Err: What are you doing?! What's taking so long?! God!
      Beat
      Meatwad: So I'll be taking my money, now.
      Cashier: Well you know what? It doesn't even matter. I don't even cash checks here. Definitely not that one.
      Err: Lay! Into! Him!
      Meatwad: (looking at penny tray) Hey, quick question. Is them pennies?
      Cashier: Yeah.
      Meatwad: And y'all just givin' 'em out? How much this gum?
      (outside, with Meatwad blow a bubble with his gum)
      Shake: What happened? Did he buy it?
      Meatwad: I bought me some gum.
      Shake and Ignigknot: Where did you get gum?
      Meatwad: In there. In the gum aisle.
      Err: Perfect.
      Shake: That's not what we sent you in there for!
      Meatwad: But that's what I come out with.
      Ignigknot: Tell me, were there weenie wraps?
      Meatwad: Microwaveable, but weenie wraps nonetheless.
      Ignigknot: Weenie wraps intrigue me.
      Meatwad: They had burger drops-
      Err: Burger drops? (jumps through the window; laser blasts can be heard coming from inside)
      Meatwad: And burrito cakes.
      Shake: I thought they stopped making those.
      Meatwad: And pizza balls.
      Shake: Pizza balls!
      Ignigknot: Were there little turkey muffins?
      Meatwad: They had little, regular, and mega.
      Ignigknot: Seize all pennies at once! Purchase all pizza balls and me-(Err jumps back out the window, with several stolen food items in his arms) Oh. There you are.
      Err: (hands one of his armfuls to Ignigknot) Can you take this? We better go.

    • Then later, Frylock reveals it's not even a check.

      Frylock: In fact, this is not a check at all, Shake. This is a bill! For homecare.
      Shake: Impossible. That's not a bill.
      Frylock: (looking at the bill) Uh, Cliff. Does anybody know a Cliff?
      Ignigknot: (walking onscreen) Yes. My name is Cliff. And that is not a bill. Tell him, Err.
      Err: That's a bill.
      Ignigknot: A bi-(angry face) Why are we trying to cash a bill, Err?
      Err: Hell, I dunno. It's your uncle. I kept telling you on the way down here.
      Ignigknot: It is my uncle. Don't you forget it.
      Err: On the way down, I kept saying "This is a bill." Just figured you knew something I didn't.
      Ignigknot: I did know something I didn't. But it wasn't that.

  • Anything Carl says about his gun.

    Oh, I'll give you a magazine there, buddy. Hey, it's full of hollow points. You're gonna love it when I put those in a gun, and then put 'em in your brain!

  • Master Shake turning black and trying out his new "complicated handshake."
  • "We are not establishing a democracy in this house! This is a dictatorship! And I rule with an iron dick!"
  • "Yeah, I'm in the business. The business of kickin' your ass. And lemme tell ya, business is boomin'."
    • "You, uh, lookin' to expand your business?"
      • "BUSINESS IS CLOSED! BUSINESS IS CLOSED!"
  • The banned episode, "Boston", as a whole can be considered as one, but seeing the Mooninites dressed up as terrorists at the end drives it home.
    • BOSTON IS A BOMB!
  • In "Freda", Shake was trying to explode ducks with baking soda and vinegar until he notices a "hot babe" walking nearby, and his way to get her attention...

    Master Shake: HEY BIMBO!

  • "The": With Frylock gone, the house becomes a disgusting pigsty, and both Shake and Meatwad get pinkeye from the unsanitary living conditions. At one point, Shake and Meatwad are batting around raw chickens. Shake defends it:

    Shake: Chickens are a vital link in nature's chain, and that's why we use them to play chickenball in the house!

    • In the same episode, Ignignokt and Err crashing Frylock's new apartment and spray painting all over everything, while Err is chanting "VAGALAZINO!".
  • In the Grand Finale, we see Meatwad grieving over the dead Frylock with Carl respectfully standing nearby in silence. At least, until he asks about Master Shake. At which point, Meatwad completely sobers up, casually says "he's dead", and then immediately goes back to grieving over Frylock.
  • "The Greatest Story Ever Told" opens with Shake watching his death from the "finale" and laughing at how he photobombed those clams. He and Meatwad comment on how that was a crazy last week they had. Completely invalidating the conclusion from the previous episode before resuming in a more Aqua Teen styled misadventure.
  • The Unbelievable Ron

    Unbelievable Ron: (doing magic gestures for the Saw a Woman in Half trick) HALF-A-BITCH!

  • The last quotes from the true final episode. After the end credits, the Aqua Teens and Carl watched the episode... and were less than satisfied.

    Master Shake: Come on, really?
    Carl: So that's it? That's how they end it? This series?
    Frylock: Yeah, I guess so.
    Meatwad: We still got a few seconds left, let's do a joke. Let's do like a joke or somethi-

  • This exchange from "The Dressing":

    Turkatron: Is that a taco pie?
    Meatwad: Mm hm.
    Turkatron: TACO PIE!
    Meatwad: I added food colorin', cuz it's a holiday, but it turn'd black, cuz I added all the food colorin' I had. An' I ate this butter straight outta the tub, cuz it taste good. There's a reason behind everythang.
    Turkatron: Enjoy those tacos now, because in a thousand years they will be illegal, Heh-heh-hahahahaaa~ Iiii think— we all know why.
    Meatwad: *serious* We know why-!
    Turkatron: ANTI-TACO LEGISLATION. Disestablishmentarianism.

  • Dr. Weird trying to fill himself with a vat of BBQ sauce.

    Dr. Weird: GENTLEMEN, there is a chance this will work!
    Steve: Uh, actually you said there was no chance this would work.
    Dr. Weird: (Beat.) FOOL! THAT WILL NEVER WORK!

    • Referenced in a later (and equally hilarious) opening segment:

      Steve: (wearing a bucket on his head, impersonating Dr. Weird) Gentlemen, fill me with barbecue sauce, because I'm dumb as hell!
      Javier: (speaks frantic Spanish while motioning behind Steve)
      Steve: Yeah, I know, Javier.
      (a giant Dr. Weird head bites Steve's head off, with the body exploding mere moments later)

  • The episode "Bible Fruit", where one of Frylock's new friends, Bert Banana, has a violent alcohol and cocaine relapse after he finds out Frylock has rum.

    Bert Banana: You know what, go ahead and pour me... a little bit of a full glass of that rum.
    Tammy Tangerine: Bert.
    Bert Banana: No ice, no ice.
    Tammy Tangerine: Bert, no.
    Bert Banana: Hey, I can handle it. It's just something to moisten my lips, I'm not going back to the darkness, sweetie.
    Mortimer Mango: Bert, you've been sober for forty-seven straight days. (Pours the rum down the sink)
    Frylock: Hey, dammit, that's my rum! You don't have to pour it down the sink, man!
    Mortimer Mango: We're gonna do it together. Right, Bert?
    Bert Banana: (To Frylock) You don't have a monkey wrench, heh, do you?
    Tammy Tangerine: Bert, I know what you're thinking and-
    Bert Banana: What? I'm not going to dismantle the pipes and drink from the u-trap. I mean, that's what an animal does!
    (Mortimer Mango turns the faucet on)
    Bert Banana: DAMMIT, MORTIMER, YOU'RE DILUTING IT!

  • "Zucotti Manicotti" is a CMOF in its entirety. From the hilarious opening sketch about gratuity ("You fiend! Unhand three more dollars!") to the overarching plot involving Meatwad being fooled by a hand puppet when the real deal is standing right in front of him to Shake not going through with any of Meatwad's "tests" because of "swollen glands", every minute is comedy gold.
  • Frylock walking in on Carl dressed as a monster and performing in front of his webcam.

    Carl: Roar! Yeah, roar! Take off them granny panties and set aside them crutches, cause the monster's coming to get ya! I got ya!
    Frylock: Hey, Carl...
    Carl: ...Hey fry man. What are you, uh, what are you doing here?
    Frylock: Well, what are you doing over there?
    Carl: No no no no no, what are you doing in here, in my private house?
    Frylock: Well, I knocked, Carl. No one answered.
    Carl: ...That is- That is correct, and for a very good reason.
    Frylock: ...So, what are you doing?
    Carl: I am checking sports scores.
    Frylock: ...And you've always got an erection, when you check your sports scores? That's gotta be embarrassing, man.
    Carl: Nah. I discovered through the internet, you can do anything you want as long as nobody sees your face. It's like the wild west over here. My larger point is, if you don't like my balls hanging out, you look away.
    Frylock: Well, I kinda need your help, but you're probably busy-
    Carl: Woah, woah, I'll help ya. I'm a neighbor. How much money you give me?
    Frylock: Uh, I don't have a lot of money, Carl, but what if we had a pizza party, huh?
    Carl: Oh, I've been down this road before. You got the coupon for the, uh, garlic breadsticks with the onion dipping sauce?
    Frylock: Yeah, whatever, sure, we could do that.
    Carl: Alright! (he becomes erect) Let me get changed.
    Frylock: No, that's actually perfect.
    Carl: What, you're friggin' into this too?

  • The scene in "Super Birthday Snake" where Meatwad's pet "rabbit" turns out to be a huge snake. It's got to be seen to be believed. Perhaps the best part is when Meatwad is about to staple some pipe-cleaner bunny ears to the snake's head:

    Meatwad: Hold still, Nathan, this will only hurt once... but damn, will it hurt.

    • The finale of the episode is nothing short of epic. It's revealed that the events of the episode were just a simulation Meatwad was experiencing from one of Frylock's inventions. Then Frylock is killed by Meatwad's rabbit, and it turns out that the whole episode was just a simulation of Frylock's. Sure, it makes no sense, but it's funny as hell.
  • Shake tries to figure out how to escape being stranded on a deserted island by following his self-published book, "MASTER Your Finances and SHAKE It Up!" Meatwad offers an alternative...

    Shake: "Chapter One: Make Every Problem Your Slave." Seriously, did you even pick it up?
    Frylock: Yeah. We've got a garage full of 'em.
    Shake: That's 'cause they didn't sell, because you shut the Web site down!
    Meatwad: Hey, y'all, we could take these jet-skis over here--
    Shake: Shut up, Meatwad! I'm discussing my book over here!
    Frylock: All right, Shake. You win. How do you make this problem your slave?
    Shake: Well, I'll tell ya. (flips page) "Rule 1: Assess the situation." We are fucked.
    Meatwad: Y'all see these jet-skis—?
    Shake: "Rule 2: Apply blame." You, Frylock. You're the one.
    Meatwad: What about these jet-skis--?
    Shake: "Rule 3: Don't let the blamee hear about you blaming them." Hey, Meatwad! Frylock really jobbed us on this, didn't he?
    Meatwad: Yeah, you probably shouldn't say that with him standing right there. You see these jet-skis—?
    Shake: "Rule 4: Make a suggestion, but don't own up to it in case it sucks." Hey, guys, what if we make a boat out of sand, but it's a glass-bottom boat. Then we can host tours for this roasted bird and get money to buy a plane ticket outta here from an airport that does not exist!
    Frylock: That idea sucks.
    Shake: Yeah. I know. Whose idea was that, Meatwad?
    Meatwad: Two jet-skis, right over here—
    Shake: Which leads me to "Rule 5: Take well-deserved nap." (lies down) Good night, good luck, the end.
    (Beat)
    Meatwad: So, we doing the jet-skis, or—
    Shake: Do you like to hear your own voice?! 'Cause I'm trying to sleep! You write a book and tell me it doesn't make you tired!

  • In "Intervention," when Carl has a breathalyzer installed on his car after getting a DUI, he ropes Meatwad into starting his car so he can drive them to the gentlemen's club. Come last call, they're both far too wasted to get 2 Wycked running again.

    Meatwad: It ain't starting.
    Carl: (Lying face-down on the pavement) Why ain't it starting?
    Meatwad: Probably 'cause I had five gin-and-tonics. And a Cuba Libre! (triumphantly waves an empty glass)
    Carl: I told you not to drink! Should not have bought you them drinks... all right, you— you got a butt, right? Fart into the tube.
    Meatwad: "Fart" is a bad word.
    Carl: All right, fine, what would you say?
    Meatwad: Booty-pooty!
    Carl: Yeah, ju— booty-pooty into it.
    Meatwad: I don't need to booty-pooty right now.
    Carl: Well, try to booty-pooty.
    Meatwad: If I try to booty-pooty and I don't need to booty-pooty, I might leave a booty-doodie. And you don't want that on your mouth-tube.
    Carl: All right, fine!! I— I jus'— we'll, uh, go to the gas station. I'll get you a friggin' bean burrito.

  • In "Larry Miller Hair System," Carl mistakes Miller for having appeared in Big Momma's House. He then spends several hours explaining the plot of the movie.

    Carl: His partner gets shot, you know? And then they rip his mask off, and they're like 'you're not an old woman, you're Martin!' Big Mammy, or big, uh, Big Granny, or something...Big, uh, Granny 2. Oh, maybe this was a sequel. So, were you in that?
    Miller: No, but very close.
    Carl: You were the judge in the gymnastics contest, I know that!
    Miller: No.
    Carl: Nah, nah, that guy was black.
    Miller: Close enough.

  • In "The Clowning", after Carl is Driven to Suicide and tries to shoot himself with a balloon shotgun, Frylock freezes him until he can find a cure. Skip to 67 years later, the house is inexplicably under attack by zombies being kept at bay by a turret defense system, and Frylock never bothered to cure Carl; instead, they used him as a coat rack until Carl finally falls over and shatters. The now elderly Shake can't remember Carl's name, Frylock tells him to "eat [his] own damn milk", and Meatwad, also a clown, rolls up on a unicycle and says through a horn that he's shattered his hip and needs to go to the hospital.
    • Then the whole episode turns out to be a dramatization that Dr. Weird was showing to a similarly clowned and frozen Steve. The demonic wig display from the main story floats up to him, causing Dr. Weird to snap at it to stop telling him to do things.
  • One episode has Frylock trying to teach Meatwad Christian values for...some reason. Shake's response:
  • Everything that Shake's angry sentient muscles says in "Muscles", especially his love of Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon, if only due to John DiMaggio's delivery.
  • wellsexpeater.blogspot.com

    Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/AquaTeenHungerForce

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